


Connor versus Update Hell

by Skybloodfox



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Comfort, Connor Needs A Hug, Connor's just trying his best, GUYS, M/M, and sex, as we all are, connor cleans, it's just fluff really, its sorta of fluff, reference to sex, sumo gets a bath
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-14
Updated: 2018-07-14
Packaged: 2019-06-10 12:47:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15291846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skybloodfox/pseuds/Skybloodfox
Summary: Connor needs to get a file for Hank. Connor uses Hank's computer. Connor gets trapped in endless updates. Pray for him.





	Connor versus Update Hell

**Author's Note:**

> I have about 8 other WIPs I need to work on, as well as my own writing and homework and editing. I had to write this. I regret nothing.

“Hello, Sumo,” Connor cooed as he entered Hank’s house. The St. Bernard panted, his tail wagging happily and Connor stopped to rub his ears and kiss his nose. Sumo licked Connor’s face in return before wandering away. Connor smiled and closed the door, focusing on his mission:

_Find Hank’s laptop. Upload the document he was working on last night to the police server._

Hank had been working on it the previous night before he’d gone to bed. There was a witness to be interviewed and Connor offered to go and transfer the file himself. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to be there during the interview process; rather the witness was shy and seemed only able to talk to Hank himself.

Connor hummed to himself, heading into Hank’s bedroom. He flicked on a light, noting the scattered clothing as he scanned the room.

_New side-mission added: Tidy Hank’s house. Fold clothing._

Connor tabbed it under his domestic subroutine and spied the laptop sitting open next with an empty bottle of beer next to it at a small table tucked against the wall next to the window. He sat down, powering on the laptop. He was greeted to an image of Cole on the desktop background. Connor smiled at it, turned on the wifi, and went to check the most recent file only for a small popup appeared.

‘ _Windows will begin update, please wait. Do not unplug or turn off the machine…’_

Connor slowly blinked. An update? The mouse began to move slowly and Connor frowned, checking the system settings, searching for the last update, and practically whimpered.

‘ _Last update: seven years ago, nine months, sixteen days, and thirty-eight hours.’_

“How is that… is that even physically possible?” Connor whispered. He clicked on to see the number of pending updates and _did_ whimper when he saw all of the notifications for software updates, system updates, security updates, etc, etc. It was endless.

He shook his head. Okay, he would just get the files, upload them and then just close the machine and tell Hank everything was fine.

Yes, he would lie.

He knew how upset humans could become with the various computer updates that seemed to dominate their lives, and telling Hank that his laptop was finally updating after seven years would probably lead to that ‘glare’ he gives at people he hates.

That millennium glaring thing.

He went to search for the most recent document as the screen blipped black.

Connor stared, his fingertips hovering over the keyboard as the computer rebooted.

_‘Restoring user settings. This will take a few minutes :)’_

Connor waited.

And waited.

Sumo wandered in, woofing, and Connor took him for a walk.

When he returned the computer was finally loading the desktop and Connor let out a sigh of relief. Maybe now things would work. He went to search for most recent documents, expecting to find the case file.

Instead he found nothing just a long list of file folders with numbers. Connor huffed, clicking on the first one and following the various labelled directories until he got to the last one and opened it. Inside was a single text document with one line of text.

_“I see you bitch.”_

Connor froze. Hyper aware, he checked his surroundings, looking and more importantly listening for any cameras, breathing, something. He could hear Sumo snoring in the living room from his spot on the couch but that was it. He ran a system check and there was nothing. He shook his head. Probably something Hank wrote while drunk one night.

He refocused and opened the second directory when the screen flashed black and then a blue screen popped up.

‘ _Preparing for updates. This will just take a minute :)’_

Connor glared.

He waited, fidgeting with his coin when he received an incoming call from Hank. He straightened in the chair, turning away from the computer.

“Yes, Lieutenant?”

“Connor, where are you? I’ve been waiting two hours for that document.” Hank sounded tired, exhausted.

Connor made a note to pick him up a healthy sandwich and bottle of water when he returned.

“I’m sorry, I can’t seem to find your document. You’re computer, it, uh,” the words died on his lips.

Hank sighed .”Yeah, it’s an old bitch. Look, just make sure it’s not connected to the internet or it’ll take forever to update. Just do a system search for, all one word, ‘Police shit underscore important’ and—oh fuck you Gavin, go eat a tide pod! Just get back when you can.” Hank hung up.

Connor slowly nodded to himself. At least now he knew where to look. He turned back to the computer and discovered that the desktop had finally returned. He breathed a sigh of relief as Cole’s image loaded.

But then none of the file folders loaded.

Nothing else loaded.

Connor’s eye twitched.

He went to press power when another popup appeared.

‘ _There appears to be a problem with the update, restoring previous settings. This may take a few minutes._ ’

Connor sat back in the chair, watching the swirling blue circle very much like his LED port. He reached up, touching it, staring at the circle.

His internal clock told him it was ten minutes before the desktop loaded and Connor smiled. _Finally!_ He went to the search bar and started typing in the name for the files when a voice chimed.

“Hello, would you like to prepare your settings? I’m your personalized assistant, how can I help you?”

Connor stared at the screen. He cleared his throat. Just how old was Hank’s computer?

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t able to hear that. Please speak louder.” The woman’s voice chimed.

“I’m Connor, the android sent by Cyberlife.” Connor said, feeling… odd, speaking to the computer. “This is Hank’s computer.”

“Thank you, _Connor_. What can I do to help you?”

“Find folder police shit underscore important.” Connor perfectly repeated the word.

_Silence._

“I’m sorry, could you repeat that?” The voice said after a few minutes.

“Find folder police shit underscore important.” Connor repeated again.

_More Silence._

“I’m sorry, could you repeat that?”

Connor glared and before he could open his mouth, the screen blipped black then blue.

‘ _Beginning system update. This may take a while. Please wait. Thank you for your patience :)’_

Connor wanted to cry. All he wanted was the file. One file. _One. File._

“Please, just stop,” Connor whimpered as he buried his face in his hands, a movement he picked up from Hank.

 

* * *

 

Hank entered the house absolutely fed up with society and was surprised to find Sumo not waiting for him by the door. He pulled off his jacket, pausing at the smell of fresh pine scent and household cleaning supplies.

The entire house was spotless, cleaner then when Hank had first bought the place.

He whistled for the dog, noting the walls had been scrubbed clean, the floors mopped, everything. Sumo lumbered out from the bedroom corridor, his fur strangely glossy, whined at Hank, and turned around. Hank blinked and followed the dog, holding a bag of takeout, and marvelling at how _sterile_ , like a show home, everything was. He had tried to contact Connor but oddly all he got was a busy signal and, while he had been concerned, he had gotten busy with work and forgotten about the android leaving.

Evidently Connor had been busy.

“What’s up, boy?” Hank placed the bag of food on the table and followed the dog.

The dog was by Hank’s bedroom, sniffing at the ground. Hank ruffled his ear before silently pushing him away. He rested his hand on his gun, and slowly opened the door. He peeked inside, wrinkling his nose at how clean it was. He pushed the door open and saw his computer on, a blue screen with a message saying update 3833 of 383423212 was completed.

Hank heard a faint hiccup on the other side of the bed and followed the noise. He found Connor huddled on the floor between the bed and wall, his tie loose, his top two shirt buttons undone, his hair in complete disarray, and face buried in his arms, hugging his knees to his chest.

“Connor?”

Connor snapped his head up, eyes wide, his LED flashing red and yellow. His cheeks were covered with blue tears, and as Hank watched, more blue tears rolled down his pale cheeks, his voice static and scratchy.

“Li-Li-Li-Li, I, it won’t,” Connor gestured to the computer, his voice cracking. “It won’t-won’t stop updating, I can’t, it won’t,” Connor broke into fresh tears and Hank sighed.

He turned around and walked over to the laptop. He snapped the lid shut and flipped it over, smoothly opening the back and removing the battery from the base. He made sure it was plugged in before turning it back on. A ‘ _welcome to update!’_ screen flashed and Hank powered off the machine, doing it three times before it finally loaded. Quickly, he turned off the wifi and closed it once more.

Sniffling behind him caused Hank to turn, watching as Connor stood before him, sniffling and playing with the edge of his jacket, his head bowed.

“I-I-I’m so sorry, Lieutenant, I didn’t mean for it to-to do that, and it just,” his face crumpled, his lips souring. “It wouldn’t _stop!”_

Hank sighed and pulled Connor into his arms, letting the android snuggle against him and hide his face in Hank’s shoulder. Hank stroked his hair, soothing the brown locks.

“Is that why you cleaned the house?” Hank mused.

Connor nodded, his voice muffled. “I cleaned everything. I washed every sheet. I scrubbed your stove. I even cleaned the ceiling. And then, then, I _ran out of things to clean_. I even washed Sumo!”

“You poor thing,” Hank kissed a hint a freckle on his neck, smiling as Connor shivered at the touch. He leaned back, wiping his thumbs against Connor’s cheeks, his fingers smearing the blue trillium against pale skin. “You did an amazing job here, Connor. It’s never been this clean.”

Connor blinked, his LED shifting slowly from red to yellow. “You’re-you’re not mad?”

“Well, I mean, that thing is going to take days to update, but it’ll be fine. And I was able to scrape together most of my case notes from memory, so, it’s alright. Connor, that thing is old as fuck.” Hank soothed.

Connor searched his eyes, his bottom lip trembling. “It wouldn’t stop updating,” he whispered.

“I know.” Hank kissed his cheek, and Connor leaned into the touch. They fell silent, just holding onto one another.

“Can we have slow sex?” It was so timid, so uncertain and shy, Hank couldn’t help but smile, brushing his lips against Connor’s. Slow sex, as opposed to kink sex, or fast sex (Connor’s labelling system), was something Connor usually asked for when he’d been struggling with too much data or just dealing with too many people in one day. It was his way of asking for comfort.

“Yeah, we can do that.” Hank drew Connor into a kiss, tasting trillium on his lips and humming low in his throat as Connor wrapped his arms around his neck and clung to him.

 

End.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! :D If you liked it, let me know in the comments <3
> 
> psst: you can find me on tumblr @skybloodfox


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